Quotes about Humor

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

If this is love, there is something highly ridiculous about it.

Tongue; well that's a wery good thing when it an't a woman's.

Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so many years it was a splendid laugh!

A most excellent man, though I could have wished his trousers not quite so tight in some places and not quite so loose in others.

A commission of haberdashers could alone have reported what the rest of her poor dress was made of, but it had a strong general resemblance to seaweed, with here and there a gigantic tea-leaf. Her shawl looked particularly like a tea-leaf after long infusion.

That's the pint, sir,' interposed Sam; 'out vith it, as the father said to the child, wen he swallowed a farden.

If you should happen, by any unlikely chance, to know a man more blest in a laugh than Scrooge's nephew, all I can say is, I should like to know him too. Introduce him to me, and I'll cultivate his acquaintance.

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.

Apart from the occasional bit of dad dancing, I really can't dance.