involvement with others was the most effective in quelling her pain.

the same answer from suffering people: it matters little what we say — our concern and availability matter far more.

the same answer from suffering people: it matters little what we say — our concern and availability matter far more. If we can offer a listening ear, that may be the most appreciated gift of all.

by embracing grief and standing beside the hurting person, we can indeed aid another's search for meaning.

Where is God when it hurts? I have often asked. The answer is another question, Where is the church when it hurts?

Every hour or so she asks how I'm feeling, and I hear her giving reports on the phone to her friends. "He's doing better today. A little trouper, doesn't complain at all." I like hearing her talk about me, as if I matter.

The man who lives in a small community lives in a much larger world…. The reason is obvious. In a large community we can choose our companions. In a small community our companions are chosen for us.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep," advised the apostle Paul (Romans 12:15), wise words that apply especially in times of crisis.

deconstructing a person is easier than constructing one.

When speaking to or about another person, ask yourself if what you are about to say will meet their need: Necessary — Is it necessary to say this? Encourage — Will this encourage? Will it make them feel better? Edify — Will it edify? Will it build them up and make them stronger as a result of what you would say? Dignify — Will it dignify that person? That's the way Jesus treated other people; he gave them a sense of dignity. Criticism

But the human being is a social creature. We don't merely want companionship, we need it to survive.

Much depends on your attitude. If you are filled with negative judgment and anger, then you will feel separate from other people. You will feel lonely. But if you have an open heart and are filled with trust and friendship, even if you are physically alone, even living a hermit's life, you will never feel lonely.