Something inside me recoiled as I heard her repeat the clichéd comments from her visitors. Is Christianity supposed to make a sufferer feel even worse?

I've yet to meet someone who found their way to faith by being criticized.

Who helped you most? Most often they (suffering people) answer by describing a quiet, unassuming person. Someone who was there whenever needed, who listened more than talked, who didn't keep glancing down at a watch, who hugged and touched, and cried. In short, someone who was available, and came on the sufferer's terms and not their own.

simple availability is the most powerful force we can contribute to help calm the fears of others. Instinctively, I shrink back from people who are in pain.

A healthy family builds up the weakest members while not tearing down the strong.

Those who suffer rest their security not on things, which often cannot be enjoyed and may soon be taken away, but rather on people.

One of the most important things we can do for a suffering person is to restore a sense of meaning or significance to the experience.

Nothing else — no learned "how-to" program, no expensive gift — is worth more to the sufferer than the comfortable assurance of your physical presence.

involvement with others was the most effective in quelling her pain.

the same answer from suffering people: it matters little what we say — our concern and availability matter far more.

the same answer from suffering people: it matters little what we say — our concern and availability matter far more. If we can offer a listening ear, that may be the most appreciated gift of all.

by embracing grief and standing beside the hurting person, we can indeed aid another's search for meaning.