People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.

I wanted to be a pastor. I was going to be a youth pastor. I mean, I play guitar; I like to make people laugh.

There's only one rule in stand-up, which is that you have to be funny. Yet 99 per cent of comics look and talk exactly the same.

I have lost my mental faculties but am perfectly well.

The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product.

I've always been aware of my health - when you are having to go on stage and perform, you need to be feeling good - but when I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, I became really, really conscious of my health.

Good health and good sense are two of life's greatest blessings.

If the boy and girl walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand in the last scene, it adds 10 million to the box office.

For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened to me the other day.' And he's in front of 3000 people, and he's acting like an everyman, and he's getting paid so much money.

Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.