Perfection intimidates. Compassion inspires. And in that you will finally find the why. Why did this happen? Because there's someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears if not for seeing yours. And when you make one other human simply see they aren't alone, you make the world a better place.

And the gaping hole left behind is in some ways worse than death. If their absence was caused by death, you would grieve their loss. But when their absence is caused by rejection, you not only grieve their loss but you also have to wrestle through the fact that they wanted this.

A heaviness settled in that I couldn't explain or pinpoint exactly. I'm not sure how to properly describe it, except to say on different days it crept up with varying personas that seemed to hold me together and rip me apart simultaneously. Cynicism dressed like a security guard, making me believe that if I hoped for less, it would protect me and prevent more pain. In reality, though, it was a thief in disguise, out to steal every bit of closeness between me and those I love.

You better believe when I walk into a conference now, I look for someone sitting alone and make sure she knows she is noticed. When I ease the loneliness ache in others it is beautifully eased in me.

When people see us, do they see the compassion of their Creator? If so, I guarantee when the enemy sees us he shakes with fear. He isn't scared of the judgmental soul shellacked with a fake sense of perfection. But the compassionate soul who has hurt deeply and come out loving? Yes, she is one of the superstars of God's grand story, and the one you want near you in the battles of life.

Let your past rejection experiences work for you instead of against you by allowing them to help you sense the possible pain behind other people's reactions.

And in that you will find the why. Why did this happen? Because there's someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears for not seeing yours.

And in that you will finally find the why. Why did this happen? Because there's someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears if not for seeing yours. And when you make one other human simply see they aren't alone, you make the world a better place.

This generosity of spirit-this caring about others and about the proposition that we are all created equal-is the single most effective antidote to the self-centered moral numbness that allows Fascism to thrive. It is a capacity that can be found in most people, but it is not always nurtured and is sometimes, for a period, brutally crushed.

Pray for people who are in a better situation than you are, who are more gifted than you are, or who currently have wonderful circumstances coming their way. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Pray for someone else's promotion, someone else's pregnancy, someone else's healing. That crucifies envy.

If one of you is walking through a dark valley personally of course it affects the marriage. But it is not about the marriage.

Sorrow is not a stranger to any of us, though only a few have learned that is is not our enemy either.