One thing I have learned during these past few terrible years is that our grief and sorrow should be shared, not carried alone.

is it better not to fall in love at all, or to love someone for a little while, even if you have to say good-bye?

Why did this happen? Because there's someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears if not for seeing yours.

Our disappointments in ourselves—in our lives—aren't just isolated pieces of evidence that we fall short and life is hard. No, they are the exact places where we can break secrecy with fellow humans and show up to say, "Me too. I get it. I understand. You aren't alone. Together, we can find our way home.

In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits.

You will hear human answers that try to tie bows around the big blows of life. These sound good in a sermon but never hold up in real life. And that's when you will see what a gift it is that you've been entrusted with enough hurt to keep you humane. You'll offer the only real answer available: 'The Lord helped me survive and He'll help you too. I'll hold your hand while you find your way to Him.

Perfection intimidates. Compassion inspires. And in that you will finally find the why. Why did this happen? Because there's someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears if not for seeing yours. And when you make one other human simply see they aren't alone, you make the world a better place.

And the gaping hole left behind is in some ways worse than death. If their absence was caused by death, you would grieve their loss. But when their absence is caused by rejection, you not only grieve their loss but you also have to wrestle through the fact that they wanted this.

A heaviness settled in that I couldn't explain or pinpoint exactly. I'm not sure how to properly describe it, except to say on different days it crept up with varying personas that seemed to hold me together and rip me apart simultaneously. Cynicism dressed like a security guard, making me believe that if I hoped for less, it would protect me and prevent more pain. In reality, though, it was a thief in disguise, out to steal every bit of closeness between me and those I love.

You better believe when I walk into a conference now, I look for someone sitting alone and make sure she knows she is noticed. When I ease the loneliness ache in others it is beautifully eased in me.

When people see us, do they see the compassion of their Creator? If so, I guarantee when the enemy sees us he shakes with fear. He isn't scared of the judgmental soul shellacked with a fake sense of perfection. But the compassionate soul who has hurt deeply and come out loving? Yes, she is one of the superstars of God's grand story, and the one you want near you in the battles of life.

Let your past rejection experiences work for you instead of against you by allowing them to help you sense the possible pain behind other people's reactions.