I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."

There have been times when a particularly heavy dose of such cynicism has caused me to reflect that surely this is the age and place of the gifted pickle sucker!

And his words fell upon the table like a blessing.

Or rather that crisp command fell upon the current of his thought like a dry leaf on the surface of a deeply flowing stream, to be borne forty years away.

Despair leads to boredom, electronic games, computer hacking, poetry and other bad habits.

It is the writer's privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart.

It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Worry is rust upon the blade.

It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is the rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution which destroys the machinery but the friction. Fear secretes acids; but love and trust are sweet juices

Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one.

I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it.

Everywhere the woman went she drew her little rainbow of happiness along with her.

I think the reward for doing comedy is doing the comedy itself. You get to go to work everyday and laugh and make other people laugh and to me there's no greater reward than that.