I have always thought of comedy as an important job and medium, and so I put pressure on myself to do the best I can.

I'd love to write more observational comedy but the stuff people seem to respond to is the most personal so it's snowballed from there.

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.

Can you inform me, gentlemen, where General Grant procures his whisky? . . . Because if I can find out, I'll send a barrel of it to every General in the field!

There's only one rule in stand-up, which is that you have to be funny. Yet 99 per cent of comics look and talk exactly the same.

It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.

I read an article somewhere that stated 1 in 4 American women will be considered clinically depressed in their lifetime. This should be more than a gold mine for pharmaceutical companies - it should be a wake-up call.

If the boy and girl walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand in the last scene, it adds 10 million to the box office.

For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened to me the other day.' And he's in front of 3000 people, and he's acting like an everyman, and he's getting paid so much money.

Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.

There's always pressure. People's happiness depends on you; they suffer with you. You get used to it, but you have to know how to handle it.

Little minds have little worries, big minds have no time for worries.