Quotes from Joseph Heller

Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.

What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.

mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

Surely there can't be so many countries worth dying for.' Anything worth living for,' said Nately, 'is worth dying for.' And anything worth dying for,' answered the sacrilegious old man, 'is certainly worth living for.

To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.

Men, he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.

She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.

I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.

They're not going to send a crazy man out to be killed, are they?" "Who else will go?

I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning