Quotes about Control

When two people in a marriage are more concerned about getting the golden eggs, the benefits, than they are in preserving the relationship that makes them possible, they often become insensitive and inconsiderate, reflecting the little kindnesses and courtesies so important to a deep relationship. They begin to use control leavers to manipulate each other, to focus on their own needs, to justify their own position and look for evidence to show the wrongness of the other person

Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it—immediately. Don't get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be.

Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are in control of it or not, there is a first creation to every part of our lives. We are either the second creation of our own proactive design, or we are the second creation of other people's agendas, of circumstances, or of past habits.

They want other people to be the way they want them to be. They often want to clone them, and they surround themselves with "yes" people—people who won't challenge them, people who are weaker than they.

It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

As long as we are working in our Circle of Concern, we empower the things within it to control us. We aren't taking the proactive initiative necessary to effect positive change.

If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control—myself.

But much of our current emphasis on independence is a reaction to dependence—to having others control us, define us, use us, and manipulate us.

While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always choose how we react to life's challenges.

I'm convinced that too often parents are also trapped in the management paradigm, thinking of control, efficiency, and rules instead of direction, purpose, and family feeling. And leadership is even more lacking in our personal lives. We're into managing with efficiency, setting and achieving goals before we have even clarified our values.

REACTIVE LANGUAGE PROACTIVE LANGUAGE There's nothing I can do. Let's look at our alternatives. That's just the way I am. I can choose a different approach. He makes me so mad. I control my own feelings. They won't allow that. I can create an effective presentation.

But we are responsible—"response-able"—to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are.