Quotes about Control

It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

As long as we are working in our Circle of Concern, we empower the things within it to control us. We aren't taking the proactive initiative necessary to effect positive change.

If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control—myself.

But much of our current emphasis on independence is a reaction to dependence—to having others control us, define us, use us, and manipulate us.

While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always choose how we react to life's challenges.

I'm convinced that too often parents are also trapped in the management paradigm, thinking of control, efficiency, and rules instead of direction, purpose, and family feeling. And leadership is even more lacking in our personal lives. We're into managing with efficiency, setting and achieving goals before we have even clarified our values.

REACTIVE LANGUAGE PROACTIVE LANGUAGE There's nothing I can do. Let's look at our alternatives. That's just the way I am. I can choose a different approach. He makes me so mad. I control my own feelings. They won't allow that. I can create an effective presentation.

But we are responsible—"response-able"—to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are.

Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.

Habit 1 says, "You are the programmer." Habit 2, then, says, "Write the program." Until you accept the idea that you are responsible, that you are the programmer, you won't really invest in writing the program.

DIRECT, INDIRECT, AND NO CONTROL The problems we face fall in one of three areas: direct control (problems involving our own behavior); indirect control (problems involving other people's behavior); or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities). The proactive approach puts the first step in the solution of all three kinds of problems within our present Circle of Influence.

I know this idea is a dramatic paradigm shift for many people. It is so much easier to blame other people, conditioning, or conditions for our own stagnant situation. But we are responsible—"response-able"—to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are.