Independence is a heady draft, and if you drink it in your youth, it can have the same effect on the brain as young wine does.

under my eye, but not my thumb.

Nothing's wrong with going to jail for something you believe in. Remember, jail was made for people. Not horses.

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave

an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules—rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."2

Can you feel the rush? Listen quietly. It's there. It's the sound of a life and spirit being set free. God, help me set myself free from ridiculous and unnecessary expectations.

Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set myself and others free.

All of me, every aspect of my being, is important. I count for something. I matter. My feelings can be trusted. My thinking is appropriate. I value my wants and needs. I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment. I have rights, and it is my responsibility to assert these rights. The decisions I make and the way I conduct myself will reflect my high self-esteem.

We're learning, through trial and error, to separate our will from God's will. We're learning that God's will is not offensive. We've learned that sometimes there's a difference between what others want us to do and God's will. We're also learning that God did not intend for us to be codependent, to be martyrs, to control or caretake. We're learning to trust ourselves. . . . and the power to carry that through.

I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment.

For each of us, there comes a time to let go. You will know when that time has come. When you have done all that you can do, it is time to detach. Deal with your feelings. Face your fears about losing control. Gain control of yourself and your responsibilities. Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free.

That's the thing with addicts. We don't intend to drink or use drugs. Usually the times we most shouldn't drink or use is when we end up drinking and using the most. Loss of control is the identifying stamp and seal of addiction. We lose control of when we use, what we use, how much we use, and what we do when we're drunk or stoned.