Something inside me recoiled as I heard her repeat the clichéd comments from her visitors. Is Christianity supposed to make a sufferer feel even worse?

When we ignore the world outside the walls we suffer—as does it.

Miracles may occur now and then, but for the most part ordinary pilgrims do God's work by preaching, caring for widows and orphans, challenging society's wrongs, and marshaling the faithful to show the world a better way to live.

people who have been broken by suffering and sickness ask for only one thing: a heart that loves and commits itself to them, a heart full of hope for them."2

Who helped you most? Most often they (suffering people) answer by describing a quiet, unassuming person. Someone who was there whenever needed, who listened more than talked, who didn't keep glancing down at a watch, who hugged and touched, and cried. In short, someone who was available, and came on the sufferer's terms and not their own.

We do not give up on the institution of family because of its imperfections-why give up on the church?

Today, if I had to answer the question "Where is God when it hurts?" in a single sentence, I would make that sentence another question: "Where is the church when it hurts?" We form the front line of God's response to the suffering world.

Wise companions learn to seek out the delicate balance between offering help and offering too much help.

simple availability is the most powerful force we can contribute to help calm the fears of others. Instinctively, I shrink back from people who are in pain.

Think too of all who suffer as if you shared their pain. HEBREWS 13:3

A healthy family builds up the weakest members while not tearing down the strong.

Our confused society badly needs a community of contrast, a counter-culture of ordinary pilgrims who insist on living a different way. We can make the world stop and think before pulling a trigger, or exacting revenge, or neglecting the vulnerable, or practising euthanasia on those it deems 'devoid of value'.