Our lives are inextricably bound up with the lives of other people. So much depends on things we can never control.

To be a priest is to know that things are not as they should be and yet to care for them the way they are.

How wonderful of [Jesus] to come back undercover, so that even the people who knew him best had to look, then look again, before they got the crawly feeling that they had seen him somewhere before. It was the perfect setup for people who wanted to know what made him different from anyone else they had met: his ability to reflect their humanity back to them, both familiar and strange, so that they never got tired of searching each other's faces for some sign of him.

If someone walks by or speaks to you, you may find that your power of attentiveness extends to this person as well. Even if you do not know him, you may be able to see his soul too, the one he thinks he has so carefully covered up. There is something he is working on in his life, the same way you are working on something. Can you see it in his face? You are related, even if you do not know each other's names.

As enjoyable as it could be to spend a couple of hours on Sunday morning with people who were at their best, it was also possible to see the strain in some of the smiles, the effort it took to present the most positive, most faithful version of the self.

In my case, the attention deficit was all mine. I had moved to the country in order to lie down in more blessed fields, to live closer to the Divine Presence that had held me all my life, but I had once again become so busy caring for the household of God that I neglected the One who had called me there. If I still had plenty of energy for the work, that was because feeding others was still my food. As long as I fed them, I did not feel my hunger pains.

We are certainly damaged people. The question is, finally, do we use that damage, that first-hand knowledge of oppression, to recognize each other, to do what work we can together? Or do we use it to destroy?

It's amazing if you just listen to people. They tell you all the time things that you can do for them, without even realizing what they're doing. I've learned to take notice of those things and if it's something that I feel God wants me to do, then I try to do that to add joy to their life.

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.

The midfielders are important: they have to offer themselves to receive the ball and make good use of it, take choices, try not to lose the ball and defend. But I don't feel like a leader at all.

As a quarterback your job is to drop back and give it to the open receiver, let them run. Obviously, there are times when you get some pressure and you have to make decisions, step up in the pocket and buy time for your receivers and deliver the ball.

When I wrote my cookbook, 'I Love Crab Cakes,' I asked some of my best chef buddies to contribute recipes.