You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

You cannot trust your eyes, if your imagination is out of focus.

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it...

As regards his health--and the rest of the things--the average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year.

Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.