Walking toward the music" isn't a bad philosophy of life. Doors might seem closed, the evening might seem prematurely over, but if you can catch a glimpse of nightlife or hear the sound of music in the distance, why not walk toward it and see what you find?

It's sort of like signing a mortgage or buying a business while drunk. You need to "dry out" a bit and think this thing through before you commit the rest of your life to someone you can't objectively evaluate

Wisdom says we should try to make a relationship work not because we have strong feelings but because it's a good match.

If you're trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you've centered your hope on him, if your security depends on his approval, and if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance, then you've just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God alone. And that means you've turned marriage into idol worship.

In the end, I found that physical fitness offered to God, surrendered to God, pursued in cooperation with God has enormous spiritual, emotional, and physical benefits.

Knowing why we are married and should stay married is crucial. The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a self-centered view? In a self-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator.

Men who are filled with the Spirit—they are alive to God, and God is active in them—and men who are full of wisdom. You won't regret making a choice founded on that basis.

I ache for the day when people make such wise marital choices that they can pray through where to live to make the most significant impact for Christ instead of praying that they could merely be able to exist in the same house without yelling and fighting.

What is more likely to lead to true marital satisfaction-getting a fallen spouse to change his or her ways, or changing your own focus so that you draw affirmation from a God who never disappoints, never turns you away?

I had envisioned that this would be a short book, about half of what it has become. Once I opened up the Scriptures, however, it was like the glaciers melted and the dams overflowed, and I had to ride the rivers way downstream. I hope you enjoy and learn from the ride.

We cannot receive, however, unless we set aside time for God to speak—and then let him set the agenda for our discussion. I've found that my agenda is frequently different from God's. He must be the initiator in my spiritual walk. He knows what I need to hear. When I'm consumed with my temporal problems, I miss the blessing of being out of doors.

Approached in the right way, marriage can cause us to reevaluate our dependency on other humans for our spiritual nourishment, and direct us to nurture our relationship with God instead. No human being can love us the way we long to be loved; it is just not possible for another human to reach and alleviate the spiritual ache that God has placed in all of us.