Quotes from Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams ladies but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
— Roseanne Barr
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
— Roseanne Barr
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
— Roseanne Barr
My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had.
— Roseanne Barr
I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.
— Roseanne Barr
It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
— Roseanne Barr
I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. It was the real life that I had trouble with.
— Roseanne Barr
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
— Roseanne Barr
I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
— Roseanne Barr
I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California I have to go to prison don't I? I think you only get three.
— Roseanne Barr
As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.
— Roseanne Barr
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
— Roseanne Barr