Quotes from John Oliver
It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa.
— John Oliver
I would hate to meet myself at 15.
— John Oliver
I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
— John Oliver
You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them.
— John Oliver
I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
— John Oliver
I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
— John Oliver
The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.
— John Oliver
The German language is so sonorous, isn't it? Beautiful language...the language of poetry. Angry, angry poetry.
— John Oliver
If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring. Apple could put the entire text of "Mein Kampf" inside the iTunes user agreement, and you'd just go agree, agree, agree - what? - agree, agree.
— John Oliver
Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
— John Oliver
Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go.
— John Oliver
Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect.
— John Oliver