Quotes from Carol Burnett

I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.

I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.

Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.

Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.

Our legacy is really the lives we touch, the inspiration we give, altering someone's plan---if even for a moment---and getting them to think, rage, cry, laugh, argue...Walk around the block, dazed...More than anything, we are remembered for our smiles; the ones we share with our closest and dearest, and the ones we bestow on a total stranger, who needed it RIGHT THEN, and God put you there to deliver. ---Carrie Louise Hamilton, dedication page

We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that.

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.