Quotes from Tom Lehrer
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
— Tom Lehrer
They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
— Tom Lehrer
I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit.
— Tom Lehrer
Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
— Tom Lehrer
I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn't get it, then they could go home and look it up.
— Tom Lehrer
Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
— Tom Lehrer
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines.
— Tom Lehrer
Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.
— Tom Lehrer
If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
— Tom Lehrer
Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
— Tom Lehrer
"Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?That's not my department," says Wernher von Braun.
— Tom Lehrer
Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.
— Tom Lehrer