Quotes from Gary Thomas

it may feel as if they just want you to stop being you.

Discerning someone's character, true values, and suitability for marriage is hard work. It takes time, counsel, and a healthy dose of objective self-doubt and skepticism. Identifying someone as "God's chosen" or Plato's "soul mate" is comparatively easy. You "feel" it in your gut. It seems right. You can't imagine anyone else. You must have found the one!

To grow in the midst of difficulties, we must rip open the bags of grain and seeds and pour them out wherever we see fertile ground.

Instead of trying to make toxic people happy or satisfied (which is a waste of time, since they can't and won't be mollified, live to help reliable people serve and worship God. Our job is to open up new avenues of worship with people who want to reverence God. Rather than living to make toxic people feel good about us, let's live to make reliable people excited about God.

Understanding the glory of being a godly woman and acting with the strength and toughness of a woman who understands she was created in the image of God, forgiven of her sins through the work of Jesus Christ, and gifted and empowered by God's Holy Spirit to live the life God has called her to live.

We bring nothing to God, and He gives us everything.

The Bible clearly says we shouldn't feel forced to marry or feel prohibited from marrying; this is one of those life decisions God leaves up to us.

When truth is rejected, spend your time on those who will receive it instead of begging closed-hearted people to reconsider.

When you sexually reconnect, you feel the effects of this neurochemical cement. Learning to disregard this cement (which you must eventually do to break things off) will undercut the positive effects it has in marriage. You must train yourself to ignore what God created you to pay attention to.

We conceal, but God wants to heal, and to do that, He must first expose.

Proverbs takes a supremely pragmatic approach: "A wife of noble character who can find?" (31:10). This verse assumes that we are involved in a serious pursuit, actively engaging our minds to make a wise choice. And the top thing a young man should consider is this: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30).

It is in these dark, intense, and lonely times that ascetics' souls awaken. I think that anyone who has been stretched in ministry knows that the real battle was fought at Gethsemane, not Calvary. To be sure, only Calvary provided payment for our sins and thus was absolutely necessary, but Gethsemane was the real spiritual battleground where Jesus made the final decision to be obedient. In a wrenching, courageous act of self-denial, Jesus proved the mettle of his faith.